Caring for a Husband with Cancer
Hi, my name is Paula. I’m 44 years old. I live in the mountains in Virginia and I’m a caregiver to my husband that has cancer. He was originally diagnosed in February of ‘93 and was in remission for just about six years, and it came back in October of ‘98. It started out, it was inside of his bladder, and when it came back in ‘98, it was in his lymph nodes. He’s young; he was 43 when he was initially diagnosed, so everything that we read, and all the doctors that we talked to, everybody that we had dealings with were used to dealing with people that were considerably older. The average age for my husband’s type of cancer is 75. So it was interesting. We’ve done a lot of reading, which has been very helpful because we haven’t been able to get a lot of good answers, at times. It started in ‘98 with some chemo, the week of Christmas. He had a bladder removed and bladder reconstruction in June of ‘99. The surgery was not successful in the fact that his bladder doesn’t function; he has to catheterize himself every three to four hours, so that’s kind of a drag. But then he did some more chemo after that. He had [a] seven-month remission last year, and this year it’s only been about three months; it’s back again. We found out in July that it was back, and he’s not taking any chemo at the moment; he’s doing some alternative things. But he said he would do chemo again if it gets any worse.
It’s been a very trying three years. There’s been good things; there’s been bad things. He’s been very sick at times. He doesn’t have a lot of good days. He’ll have a good day or two, and then he’ll have a couple bad days. He gets depressed because he’s home by himself all day. He was home by himself all day and I just got him a little kitten last week to keep him company and he named her Chemo. He said the chemo did good things for him, so he thought this little kitty was going to do good things for him, too. So she’s here to keep him company during the day. …read the rest of this entry»

My name is Patty, and I am 64 years of age. I live in Minnesota. I’m married and I had five children. We’ve been married for 43 years and out of that 43 years, my husband and I have lived with cancer for 28 of those years. Keith was first diagnosed with colon cancer when he was 34 years of age. At that time, he had the surgery. It had not pierced the wall, so he did not require any further treatment just to recover. I did not feel that I was required to be a caregiver in a large sense of the word, because he was back at work in such a quick amount of time. We did talk about our feelings, but that was as far as it went.
We went along for 25 years and then my husband was diagnosed with recurring colon cancer. It was in a new area. There again, he had the surgery. It was intact so there was no further treatment required, and he was back up and at ‘em in no time at all!
The following year our daughter, Lori, who was 31 years of age and lived in Texas at that time, was diagnosed with what is called a non-functioning Islet cell tumor. It’s a very rare form of cancer. She’s the youngest person on record to have ever had this type of cancer. …read the rest of this entry»

How are you? I think I should introduce myself, shouldn’t I? I do not know who you are, but at least I should let you know about me.
I am a seventy-year-old woman. Though my age is old, my heart isn’t. So, [laughs] you can hear that I am very happy, right? And if you think life is free of obstacles, it is not. In life you will need to face birth, aging, illness and death. These are things that everybody must face. How you face it is up to you.
When you are facing these obstacles, if you let yourself be trapped in the middle of them, then you will be inside the difficulty. But if you are in the difficulty and say: “I will not be trapped in the middle of this, and I will get out of this trap”, it is possible.
Why do I say this? Because I would like to tell you about things that I have been through. I am an old woman of seventy years of age. And what is my name? My real name is Yen-Ping Liu Chiao. Chiao is my husband’s surname. Yen-Ping Liu is my maiden name, but I have another name, it is “Little Gold Nugget.” It was given to me by my colleagues when I was working for the radio station.
Actually my life is quite complex because I was adopted. My biological father’s name is Liu, my adopted family’s name is Gin, [meaning] “gold,” so they gave me that. When I worked in broadcasting, they gave me the name “Little Gold Nugget” because I was very small.
Strength from God’s Love
Do you agree that there is a creator of the universe? And that He is love? The most important thing is, I have known Him–my life has been changed. He is the strength that keeps me going in my life. No matter how difficult the situation may be, He stays with me and walks with me. I am not trying to preach. Absolutely not. I only want to introduce you to the source of strength in my life. …read the rest of this entry»

Norton’s Saga
My name is Norton. I’m a survivor of advanced metastatic prostate cancer. I’m 79 years old. I live in Northern California. My wife, Arlene, and I have been married for 58 years. We have one daughter and four grandchildren. Now, my saga with prostate cancer is a long story. I watched my grandfather die an excruciatingly painful death from prostate cancer 53 years ago, in 1947. My mother died with breast cancer in 1971. Both of these cancers are adeno-carcinoma, they are hormonal cancers, and they have serious hereditary implications. But little did I realize at that time that this family background of cancer might some day affect me.
Early warnings
In the late 1980’s, I began to get up 4 or 5 times a night to urinate, and once I had blood in my body fluids. I told my internist about this and I was told, these are the sorts of problems that old men have. I was then about I think 69 years old. This unfortunately gave me a false sense of wellbeing and I felt that if the doctor wasn’t concerned, why should I worry. About a year later, while doing a digital rectal examination on me, the same internist found a nodule on my prostate. He said it was pretty soft and he didn’t think it was cancer, but I made an immediate appointment with the urologist. I then had my first prostate-specific antigen test. This is the test that is properly known as the PSA test. My test result was 37 anagrams per milliliter of prostate-specific antigens. Now normal is from 0 to 4.5 for someone my age. So I was many times normal. I then had a transrectal ultrasound which tentatively identified a tumor in my prostate. I had two single needle biopsies of the prostate. The tissue was sent to a local pathologist for review. I waited for several weeks, which seemed to me like an eternity. It turned out that the specimen had been sent to the University of Virginia Medical School to get a second pathological opinion. I was diagnosed with a Gleason 6 cancer cell, which is a moderately aggressive cancer. …read the rest of this entry»

My name is Nick Sullo. I am a cancer survivor. I’m 55 years old. I’m a resident of Connecticut. I discovered in 1989 that I had non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I have been living in New Jersey, where the original diagnosis was made, with my family: a son and a daughter in their late 20s, and my wife. We’ve been married for 31 years now. And when cancer struck in August of 1989, my life definitely changed. I was a product manager for an international chemical company; traveled extensively in the United States and in Europe; and was looking forward to a long career with a happy retirement, watching my children grow, marry. But cancer, certainly when I was told that I had cancer, it completely changed my perspective on life.
The primary issue for me was the most difficult thing was when I was told that I had cancer. Cancer to me had always been, as far as anybody in my family and friends, a death sentence. And so the initial discussion with my doctor and my wife just led to a very, very emotional, as you can imagine, and gut wrenching discussion, mostly one sided. Your breath is taken away by the words that you’re told, that you have cancer.
When the doctor finished with his little presentation, one thing that I have to give him credit for, he got on the telephone and called another gentleman who had non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma as a survivor, had just gone through the treatment, and handed me the phone. I was really distraught at that time but it’s amazing how all of a sudden he created hope for me, when I had no hope at all for the future.
I subsequently had a relationship with this other gentleman, and that was the start of changing my feeling about cancer. And that there was hope, that there was a treatment, that there was hope, and there was a future after cancer. So I did go through ten months of treatment, chemotherapy, followed by six months of remission. Unfortunately, the cancer reoccurred. I then, for one year, because I had slow growing lymphoma, the doctors just wanted to monitor it because, in fact, it could just be in a very stable state at that point. But we monitored it for one year, but the cancer continued to grow. …read the rest of this entry»

My name is Nancy, and I have colon and rectal cancer, supposedly, but it is a rare cancer. Clear cell carcinoma that involves the endocrine glands and it’s very rare. But this is my story here. I’ll just have to tell you one small bit of information which becomes very major, during the later part of my statement. I was a graduate in 1969, from high school. I went to beauty school and I met this guy, his name was Howard. He was a Christian guy and was just kind of frumpy. When you’re just out of high school, you just know you want something better, and I wanted to move away.
So I did get married, to a school teacher–moved away, for an abusive thirteen years of marriage. Then I had a chance, after my divorce, to come back to the farm. The plant I was working for gave an early-out option, so I did. My parents wanted me to come home because my parents and grandmother were sick. So, I went ahead and took the early out, and I came back.
And then, I had to decide what I was going to do with the rest of my life. So I went into nursing. I was 42, and by the grace of God, I finished the test to get into nursing. I was in my first year, and I was then feeling some of the problems of cancer. I knew the signs. I ignored those signs. I had learned them in nursing also when we studied cancer, because I had a lot more things to do. I was so young. And I did ask the doctors, and they all said, “Well, you know, you’re pretty young to have that,” being just past 40. So I just kind of ignored it, as like a hemorrhoid problem.
Falling in Love and Finding Cancer
But while I was in school, this name of Howard came up again. And I sought him out, not ever thinking, that I’d be asked to go out again by him. …read the rest of this entry»

Minnie: surviving breast cancer
My name is Minnie. I live in Mississippi. I’m 69 years old, married and have four children by a previous marriage, one girl and three boys. I have seven grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. I’m a cancer survivor. I had a modified radical mastectomy on the left side November 15, 1999. I was blessed in that I didn’t have to take radiation or chemo, I was just given Novadex and estrogen blocker. The cancer was feeding on estrogen, and I still had my ovaries. I was also taking Premarin and Provera hormone pills. I was on the hormones for fifteen years. I was on Novadex for five years.
You see in February 98 I got a regular mammogram and in September of the same year, they called me in for a repeat on my left. They said it was a cyst, but it hadn’t cleared up. So on October 4, 1999, I went for an annual mammogram and had to repeat it again on the left side. On October 27, 1999, this time they had found a lump and I was sent to a surgeon on the second of November. He gave me a choice of a needle biopsy or a lumpectomy. I chose the lumpectomy, and it proved to be cancerous. Then I had a choice of cutting a little more around the lumpectomy or removing the breast. I chose removing the breast. My doctor told me I did the right thing, because my breast was full of cancer cells. I had the lumpectomy November 11, 1999, and the mastectomy the 15th of November, 1999. I was in the hospital for two more days, the 16th and 17th , and my daughter and her husband was with me, and when I came home, she stayed with me two more days. And I was never left alone. When my husband had to leave, a real good friend, a neighbor, would come and sit with me. She did this for a week.
Finding the strength
When I first found out I was scared. I had just got a new great-granddaughter on the 28th of October. The next day after I had the second mammogram. I was afraid I wouldn’t get to see her grow up. She’s almost eleven months old, now, and I’m doing fine, praise the Lord. …read the rest of this entry»

Maura: Discovering Colon Cancer
Hello, my name is Maura and I’m a happy mother of three children. I’ve been married 17 years to a wonderful husband. My children’s ages are 15, 13 and 9. I’m living in the Pittsburgh area and I am a cancer survivor. I was a healthy 39-year-old mom, working out at the gym three to four days a week, on a great diet, and I thought I was in the best shape. One day I had a very, very, little small amount of blood in my stool. After a week or two of that, I called the doctor, and the doctor felt that this was an internal hemorrhoid. He did an exam, gave me some medication. Three to four weeks later, I still had some blood in my stool. So they felt that I would need to have a sigmoidoscopy. The doctors who implemented that scope [thought] that at my age the likelihood of this would be an internal hemorrhoid. Five minutes into the process he looked down at me and said, “Maura, I think we’ve found something serious here. I’m going to have you come back tomorrow to have your whole colon checked.” I pleaded and begged with him to do the examination. He insisted that I needed medication and I said no, do it now, that I would not come back. So the doctor proceeded with the process. It was a little bit painful, but he checked my whole colon. I was very fortunate; there was only one site of cancer. He told me that I would need to see an oncologist and need to see a surgeon immediately. Sitting in his office the following day, I was confused and upset. The following day I had a tragic accident in my family. My brother–who was age 43–was killed, leaving a beautiful wife and six super, great children. I kept my cancer secret during the week. I felt that my family had enough to deal with. We were totally in a state of shock, losing one of the greatest brothers you could have. We buried my brother on a Wednesday. The morning of his funeral, my husband and myself went to the doctor’s office at 7:30. The doctor stated he would not do my surgery for two weeks because of the situation that we were dealing with the tragic death. I insisted and pleaded with that doctor to have my surgery on Friday. I told him he had two hours to convince me, and he didn’t, so I left his office, knowing I would be seeing him in 48 hours to have my reconstruction. …read the rest of this entry»

Mary: Five Time Survivor
My name is Mary. I’m 48 years old, single, never had any children due to the kind of tumor I had. In 1973, while driving home from a trip to Oklahoma, a woman with children drove out in front of me to go into a bar. I was so outraged that I pulled behind her and she proceeded to back into my car. Needless to say, I got out and started yelling at her. When I got back on the road, I noticed that I had a small painful lump in my neck, so as soon as I returned home to Texas, I went to the doctor to see what it was.
At first I was told it was an infected node. I was started out on antibiotics, and when it didn’t eventually go away, was scheduled to have a biopsy. The biopsy was said to be normal. Months later I decided the bump, which had now grown, was not in fact normal and needed to be reevaluated. As a nurse at the time, I approached a surgeon, tests were done, and I remember telling him that it was not normal. I remember telling him that if he said it was normal, I was going to get up, walk out, and see yet another doctor. He was a kind of country doctor and gave me a smile as he looked over his glasses. Tests were ordered and I awaited a diagnosis. The tests suggested that I had a malignant thyroid with probable metastasis, so surgery was scheduled within the week. …read the rest of this entry»

Mary McNally: the Initial Shock
My name is Mary; I’m a professor at a University in Montana. I’m presently 45 years old. I’ve lived in Montana for 13 years, but I grew up in New England, and my family’s scattered all over the country, and I don’t have any immediate relatives in this area at all. I was diagnosed four years ago with breast cancer. I was 41 at the time, I was single, holding down a demanding, full-time job. I had been involved in a long-term relationship, but it was a long distance one at that point. So, in other words, I was alone and on my own when this came up. Obviously the diagnosis of cancer was totally unexpected. Isn’t it always? I had found a lump doing a self exam, which hadn’t shown up on a recent mammography. I went in, I pushed it, and had an ultrasound done, and it showed a suspicious growth, so a surgeon did a biopsy. I’d had one previous biopsy a couple of years earlier and it had been fine, so I was expecting the same outcome. So when the surgeon called me back about two days later, and he used the word “malignant”, I just sort of went into shock. I was totally unprepared. And he was great, he was trying to set up an appointment to see me the next day, and I kept saying “Malignant!” and he would say, Well, yes, and we need to see you tomorrow, and I was like, “Malignant!” I couldn’t get off it. But, and I just kept repeating it. And finally I said, “You mean I have cancer?” and he says, “Well, yeah.” You know, that was a horrifying word to me.
Quick surgery
When I went in to see him the next day, I was still in shock, and I was still trying to understand and I kept telling him there’s no history of this in my family, which is true. And he pointed out to me that now there was. I had thought I was too young, none of it made any sense, and it really didn’t make any sense. But it was my new reality. I got the diagnosis on a Thursday and I had surgery the following Monday, I believe. In the meantime, I called family members and they responded by coming out here to be with me. That was an immense help and a relief because I felt pretty overwhelmed. Luckily it was May and the semester had just finished, and I wasn’t teaching summer school then. So I wasn’t immediately juggling work along with everything else. The surgery went pretty well, but the surgeon wasn’t able to get good margins around the growth. I was clearly going to need radiation and possibly chemotherapy. …read the rest of this entry»