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Welcome and Participant Introductions Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Hello, and welcome to the American Cancer Society Cancer Survivors Network. I'm Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks, your host. Today I'll be talking with three survivors who are all single mothers. As a two- time cancer survivor myself, I am pleased to be your host for today's conversation. We'll be talking about the effects of cancer on the family, as well as coping with changes in physical appearance and ability to work. We'll be talking about: insurance and financial concerns; living with cancer--what helps most and what really hurts; and, of course, our fear of recurrence. Our first guest is Leesa K., a 44-year-old survivor from Florida. We call her Leesa K. because we have two Lisas with us

today. This Leesa is a divorced, single mom with three children, ages 25, 17 and 15. The youngest two still live at home. Welcome, Leesa. Leesa K.: Hello. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: In 1992, Leesa, you noticed a small, painful lump on your nose. The first two physicians attributed this to allergies. A third doctor did a biopsy and diagnosed you with squamous cell carcinoma [a type of skin cancer]. Your treatment included radiation and surgery. You lost most of your nose and a jaw bone so you underwent reconstructive surgery. A prosthetic jaw was implanted and you wear a prosthetic nose. You have now been cancer-free for six years. Thank you so much for joining us today, Leesa. Leesa K.: Well, thank you for asking me to be here. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Also with us is another Lisa. She's a 41-year-old survivor from Texas. Lisa E. is a single mom, divorced with two children--a girl, five years old, and a boy of seven. Welcome, Lisa. Lisa E.: Thanks for having me, Bobbi. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: In 2000 you didn't heal after an elective surgery, and you developed pneumonia and subsequently were diagnosed with acute myelogenous leukemia (AML). You started chemotherapy and went into remission after the first cycle, and remain so today. Thank you for joining us, Lisa. Lisa E.: Thanks for having me, Bobbi. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Our last guest is Kathleen, a 40-year-old survivor from Nevada. Kathleen is also a single mother through divorce and has a 15- year-old daughter living at home. Welcome, Kathleen. Kathleen: Thank you, Bobbi. It's my pleasure to be here. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: You had nodules on your thyroid that were biopsied twice a year for several years before they were actually found to be malignant in January 2001. You underwent surgery and radiation, and although you're in remission, your blood tests are abnormal. Thank you so much for being with us, Kathleen. Kathleen: Thank you. My pleasure. The Impact of Cancer on Family, Work, and Physical Appearance Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Our guests today share some very important similarities. All are survivors in their early to mid-forties, with one or two children at home, and single as a result of divorce. Leesa K.? Leesa K.: Yes. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: How did cancer impact your family? Your husband or partner or children or other family members? Leesa K.: Well, it was a great impact. I guess my husband couldn't deal with it, and therefore he kind of abandoned us. And my children were worried at first, for quite a while, but they adjusted to things. And it was hard, but we made it through. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: How about you, Lisa E.? How did cancer impact your family? Lisa E.: I was married at the time and am no longer now. My ex-husband's way of dealing with it was to ignore it, but fortunately at the time we had a young lady living with us, helping with the children, and so she stepped in. And I have a sister and just a wonderful support group of friends that stepped in and helped me out during that time. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: That's so wonderful. How about you, Kathleen? Kathleen: Unlike the two Lisas, I have been divorced for--since the birth of my daughter. And cancer, you know, is the biggest thing that had affected us to that time, so I really didn't have anyone to fall back on. Subsequently my daughter has risen to the occasion and become my biggest advocate and my best friend. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: How very wonderful. Let's talk about how cancer affected you physically or your ability to work. Kathleen? Kathleen: Well, having a thyroid problem for a number of years makes one very tired. Having cancer surgery made me even, you know--of course you feel bad when you haven't --feels like you've had your neck cut off. [laughs] So I have a big scar on the front of my neck, which does bother me. Not only do I see it, I feel like everyone else sees it, and I feel somewhat like Frankenstein. I was pressured to come back to work five weeks before I was supposed to, so I feel like I really didn't have time to rest. And then I had radiation treatment within two months of my surgery, so I've lost a lot of my taste. You know, my salivary glands don't work like they should. And I have my big scar, but I'm alive. [laughs] Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: I feel the same way. Kathleen: Yes, so I kind of wear my scar now as like a badge of honor, but it does bother me and I feel like everybody looks at it. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Lisa E., how about you and the physical effects and your ability to work? Lisa E.: I had stepped out of the hard-core rat race a year prior to getting sick, so because at the time my children were--I guess it was after my--about a year after my daughter was born--and so I was working part-time, which was tremendous. My company was wonderful. They allowed me to do a lot of my work from home, and at the hours when I could do it. So I was able to work and sleep, and work and rest, and stay away from germs and things like that. And they were real flexible. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: How about you, Leesa K. in Florida? Leesa K.: I used to work in the restaurant business, out in the public quite a bit, and when I first got cancer I went through quite a bit of surgery that left me severely scarred. They had to remove my jawbone and replace it, and I have the scars on both sides of my neck where they did a lymph-- they removed the lymph nodes on both sides of my neck, so I know what she means about feeling like Frankenstein. And of course, I have a nasal prosthesis, and so it has affected me and taken me quite a while to overcome my self- consciousness about the way I feel; the way people perceive me. Different people ask me what happened--if I was in a fire or car accident. I haven't worked since; I've been on disability. But just this week, I have decided that I have--I am a survivor now, for going on almost 12 years--and I have decided to overcome that obstacle, and I have gone back to school. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Oh, how wonderful! How have all of you been dealing with the issues? And Leesa said that she's going back to school. Have any of you seen a physical or occupational therapist or gone through rehab--vocational rehab or rehabilitation counselor, or an esthetician--to help with maybe makeup, or psychotherapy to help you get back on track? Lisa E.? Lisa E.: It's just all been on my own. I was very athletic beforehand, so for me--I lost a lot of weight when I was going through treatments, and that was the easier way for me to tackle it. It was to focus on health and fitness, and lifting weights. But I had been doing that for years, so I didn't go to anyone. But that, I didn't have any--didn't go for makeup or anything. I just threw a ball cap on or my wig. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Have any of you taken up anything to distract yourself from thinking about your cancer? Kathleen? Kathleen: I babble about it to everybody and so [laughs], you know, I talk about it all the time, and it's always there in the back of my mind. I did finish my Master's degree just before I was diagnosed, and I've since gone back to school to study for my Ph.D. And I just keep myself really, really busy. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Well, then you can say your Ph.D. stands for "Patient Hasn't Died," right? [laughs] Kathleen: Yes, I was thinking it stood for "Post Hole Digger." But you know, they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: That's right. Kathleen: Since having cancer I've been diagnosed with a neurological disorder, and it just seemed like everything came in a lump sum, but I guess I must be Wonder Woman. [laughs] Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: I think somehow all of us are. Lisa E.: This is Lisa E. I started, well, from the time I was diagnosed, started doing some visualization and relaxation exercises. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: And you found that really helped? Lisa E.: It did tremendously, and I found that I have a Type-A personality, so just to sit still and calm my mind is still difficult for me, but I got to the point that I looked forward to it. And now I still do it, but I don't do it two to three times a day like I used to. It's more like two or three times a week. [laughs] Finances and Insurance Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Some of you have had insurance and financial concerns--and I'm hoping that we can have a frank discussion around these issues. I guess my bias is that as single moms with kids at home, and in some cases with very little support from family, that there must be times in which you experience incredible stress. And coping with stress emotionally is one thing, but how have you managed to problem-solve these concrete problems with insurance and financial concerns? Who would like to go first? Lisa E.: Well, this is Lisa E. I'll jump in here. I had a situation with the hospital I was working through, which was great on one hand, but on the financial side they had overextended what I had given authority to on searching for a bone marrow match--which I still haven't, have not found, but I am feeling much better about not needing one. So that was my only--you know, if I relapsed, that was going to be my next course. And I got to the point that, and not being able to get through to the right people and talk to them and try to get them to understand what was their mistake and what wasn't mine. And finally my sister, who is a CPA, I turned it over to her. It was getting stressful for me. I could feel my blood pressure rise every time I came home to a bill. And so she has handled all the correspondence, so at least I don't have to deal with that. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Oh, I think that's great. Anybody else want to talk about some of your problems that you've had to face with financial concerns? Kathleen: Sure, this is Kathleen. As a single parent, as you all know, it's difficult raising a child when you're sole income, and I do not receive child support. Not that I can't raise my child, but it seems like I struggle to pay what the insurance does not cover. I'll probably be paying doctors and pathologists and everybody else until I'm 110 years old. And so, it's difficult to feel like you can't take a breather and rest when you need to, and you've got, "There's that bill." [laughs] And so it has been difficult, and I just have learned to be a creative financier and stick to a very, very tight budget. At times, it's difficult. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Well, I think that's very courageous. Does anybody else want to address any of those concerns? Have you, any of you, talked about these issues with your children or your ex-partners or your family, or anybody else? Kathleen? Kathleen: Yes. My family was very dismissive of my cancer so, you know, they're like, "Oh, you look fine. You've had your surgery. Oh, so you have a scar. Big deal." But they don't understand the intricacies of abnormal blood work and, "Oh, gee, you're only 40. Big deal." So, like I said, when my daughter has become my biggest advocate and my best friend. I do discuss finances with her and probably have asked her to step up to the plate a few more times for someone who's so young. You know, "Gee, do you mind going in to the pharmacy and picking up that prescription?" or "Do you mind running and going and getting this or that if I'm too tired?" And, you know-- Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: What does she feel about all of that? Kathleen: There was a time where she was resentful, at the very beginning, very afraid I was going to die. And then what was going to happen to her? And I was upset. And, you know, you cry about it and you talk about it. Now we have kind of an understanding that it's there at the back of our minds, and it's kind of moved in and made a little house. [laughs] Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Uh-huh. [yes] Kathleen: And so, it's there, but we just deal with everything day to day. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: This is Bobbi. And I can tell you, after almost 17 years, you still think about it. It's still back there, that little house, that little window. Kathleen: Uh-huh. Leesa K.: That little house never goes away. Kathleen: Yeah. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: But it does get easier. It does get easier. Leesa K.: It gets better. Kathleen: Yeah. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Lisa E.? You have anything that you've talked about with any people that have been particularly helpful to you? Lisa E.: Yeah, I've got a sister locally who is just my rock. She is-- probably when I was first diagnosed, she said, "You know, we can't change the fact that you have this, but there are some things that we can proactively do. And the odds that the hospital you went to locally has the best leukemia treatment place--let's research it and find the best place," and took positive steps. And my children were very young at the time. I don't think they knew how serious it was, but they are a little older now and we do talk, and they worry when I make the trip, because my primary hospital is out of town. But I tell them that, and I let them know--every few weeks I have lab work. I let them know when I'm going to go to the doctor. And if they're worried about it, I always--I promised that I would let them know if it was something serious--that I'm doing great and I'm fine, and I'm well. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: So, you're honest with them and keep the dialogue open. Lisa E.: Yes. And, you know, what they do for me is they pray for me every night. Coping with Changes Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: You know, I think all of us living with cancer have experienced things that were very helpful to us, but we have also experienced things that were very hurtful to us. I'd like to ask you--whoever wants to go first--when something was hurtful to you, how did you deal with those things? Leesa K.: This is Leesa K. My mother--I guess couldn't cope with what I went through with having cancer. She turned her back on me and has never dealt with it. She, to this day, has no--I have no relationship with her. She just can't face it. But her sister, my aunt, who is a retired RN, she has been my rock. She has been with me every step of the way, by my side every surgery. She calls me every week. She lives in a different state, and she has been my rock and my fortress for 12 years. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: How about you, Kathleen? Kathleen: I have a network of girlfriends [laughs] that I babble about to, if I'm upset. My best friend of 21 years was going to come out from Chicago to be with me during my surgery and, at the last minute, couldn't make it. I know it was because of fear of dealing with something this serious. And that really upset me. It hurt me deeply. I mean, we had been friends for so many years. And we're talking again now, but we haven't visited each other for-- Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Your relationship will never be the same, I guess. Kathleen: Well, I think it will, in time. But, you know, we used to visit each other every six months, and now it's going on three years. So it's been difficult. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Leesa K., how did you get through this whole thing with your mother just not being there for you? I mean, I would think that would be so difficult. Leesa K.: It is very difficult, and I'm still trying to cope with that aspect of it and trying to deal with it. I'm close to my father-- my parents are divorced. But I guess I really haven't learned to deal with my mother. I don't understand. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: I guess that goes back to maybe seeing a therapist or finding a way to get some support for you, so that you learn how to deal with that and how to accept it, because many times we can't change some of the things that happen. I'd like to turn it around, and all of you have mentioned many things that you've found to be extremely helpful in coping with the challenges of living with cancer. Lisa E., how about telling us some of the things that have been very helpful to you? Lisa E.: Very helpful? I would say, well, one was probably my mom who is the retired RN, because when things were serious she--she was in another state. She flew from Florida at the drop of a hat, to literally nurse me and watch over me when I was back in the hospital, or drive me somewhere. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Oh. Lisa E.: The relaxation and visualization, just the fact knowing that there were so many people praying for me. My brother used to tell me that, "God's going to heal you, because you're tying up the lines." [laughing] Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: How about the support of friends and family and humor? Does any of that come into play? Lisa E.: Oh, yes. I've got some of the greatest friends. They've made themselves available and have driven me and listened to me cry and rant and rave, and encouraged me. It's just been--I mean, I'm here because of them. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Kathleen? I understand that you threw yourself a cancer anniversary party? Why don't you tell us about it? Kathleen: I went to my favorite restaurant, which was a steak house. I invited about 25 people, and I paid for everybody to order what they wanted. I felt like it was--yeah, I was just getting to turn 40--but I had my first anniversary and we had this great party. I'm planning on having another one in February on the 23rd, for my second year. [laughs] So, you know, it's kind of a renewal. If I didn't laugh about it now, I would cry, because, you know-- Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: I think laughter's much, much better. Kathleen: Yeah, so, I mean, we make jokes. I had one who tried to sneak pizza in to me the night I had my thyroid surgery. [laughing] And another friend who said, "You know, let's get a tattoo of some barbed wire, or tell people you were a freedom fighter in Iraq and you had your throat cut and everything." [laughing] Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: This is Bobbi. We celebrated with a BYOB, which was "Bring Your Own Boob" party, and everybody had to come dressed as a boob. And it was hilarious, so I think humor goes a very, very long way. Leesa K.: Absolutely. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Kathleen, did you try a support group at all? Kathleen: I did. I went to a support group at a local hospital, but the problem that I had--and I work for the government, so you'd think I would be able to get time off-- Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Yup. Kathleen: --was that it was during the day, and by the time nighttime came around for another support group at another hospital, I was tired. So I kind of invented my own group. I found a few people here in Nevada, oddly enough, who also have thyroid cancer, and try to maintain ties there. And I just talk with all of my friends about it, over and over and over and over. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Did you find when you went to the support group that the age of the people was a problem for you? Kathleen: It wasn't a problem, but I noticed a marked difference between my age and the age, the average age of the group, which was probably late sixties-- Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Uh-huh. [yes] Kathleen: --senior citizen. There was no one there who was under 40, or 40. It was difficult. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Did either of you Lisas try a support group? Leesa K.: This is Leesa K. I did, and I ran into similar--I would go to the support group and there was a lot of senior, it seemed like, men. It was all senior men, and I would be like the only--I was like the odd one. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Leesa K., what do you think is the most important thing to you in terms of helpful? I know your children and your faith. What else? Leesa K.: My children are my inspiration, and they're my reason for living, because if I don't take care of them, nobody else is going to do it. My faith is one of the biggest factors. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: How about hope? How do all of you feel about hope? Are you hopeful? Leesa K.: You have to have hope. You can never let go of hope. You always have to have hope, and you--as long as you're alive, there's hope. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: That's right. Not over 'til the fat lady sings, and in my case, I'm not even ready to warble. [laughter] Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: How about healthy diet? Was that helpful, changing your diet, or did any of you make drastic changes? Lisa E.: This is Lisa E. I ate pretty lean before, but it was lean and probably not enough fruit and vegetables. But I did, you know, make a point now. I try to get nine to ten servings of fruits and vegetables and drink a lot of green tea. [laughs] Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: What about support from other survivors similar to you? Did you find other people like yourself to talk to? Would anybody like to talk about that? Kathleen: This is Kathleen. I did find three people in my area, who had had the same type of cancer. But I found that most--even though the people I spoke with were of the same gender, the same age--there were vast differences in how we each perceived our own cancers. And even though they were the same kind of cancer, more of the people I talked to were on disability and were not able to work. And I had no choice. So it was difficult to find common ground in that respect. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: I think that makes you stronger, though. Did it help you to meet survivors with the same cancer who were long-term survivors? Kathleen: I haven't. I've only met one long-term survivor. And I will say that the [American] Cancer Society's Relay for Life is where I've met two of the three people I know who have thyroid cancer. And we all pointed at each other's necks and didn't have to say a word. The tears just came flowing, because, you know, you knew what they had gone through and what they had just by looking. Lisa E.: This is Lisa E. I found--there's an older fellow through the Leukemia Society who's sort of a phone buddy. We used to talk a lot more, and then some friends who were cancer survivors. And, to me, the survivor stories and the support from other people that, that are still beating the odds are tremendous, gave me a tremendous amount of hope. Because every time I was somewhere--you know, I might be at the hospital, and I was constantly getting this barrage of: "You do the research," and some of the, you know, "What you're reading is really hard to digest,". And the lab technician says, "Oh, you've got the bad kind." You know, and little comments like that, so to talk to other people who are still living and doing good and have been through it, it was just- -it was very helpful. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Well, just think about this if you get down: There are eight million cancer survivors out there. And that's a big army to fight this war. Lisa E.: That is a big army. "Taking Care of Business" In Case of Recurrence Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Let's talk about a subject that can be pretty painful to a lot of us, and that is fear of recurrence--the fear of our cancer coming back. And I think that that's totally universal with everyone who's ever had cancer, regardless of what age you've been diagnosed. And the fact that all three of you were so young, unmarried and have children at home, what sort of fears and concerns do you have particularly about that? And have you done anything to help reduce those concerns like--it's a tough subject and tough question to ask--but if something did happen to you, who would take care of your children? Have you thought about a trust or a will, or made provisions for any of them? Lisa E.: I'm in the insurance business, and one of the things I did-- actually I guess it was three days. I'll back--let me digress a bit. You had asked what we did or how we had handled some things. When my ex-husband asked for a divorce, I was still bald about a month after the treatment and still very weak. I cried for three straight days, and then I said, "Gosh, darn it. I'm not going to die because of him, and I'm not going to get sick over this." And I went to see an attorney, and I changed my will. I set up a by- pass trust, and I adjusted my will. I had already had arrangements with my sister for if anything should happen to me, but you know, I can't change what may happen, but I can--there are some things I can do the best I can. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: And now, and now you can go on with life. Lisa E.: Right. Kathleen: Sure. This is Kathleen. When I found out that I had to have surgery and had cancer and all that, I made sure that I had everything covered before my surgery, just in case I did die. [laughs] I did a new will. I made sure that there would be somebody there to take care of my daughter. And I cried and cried and cried, and was very worried and was planning for the worst and hoping for the best. And so, I still have things taken care of, just in case it ever does come back, I'm more prepared this time. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Leesa K.? Leesa K.: I really haven't, I don't know, prepared anything. When I first got sick, I was told to make my funeral arrangements, and I didn't want to do it. I refused to do it. I asked a few people in my family, I did ask them--my children were very young at the time-- if, you know--who would take care of my children? And everyone told--nobody wanted to do it. Everybody had an excuse. And I think that's what really gave me the fight and the will to go on, to overcome this. But I did write, handwrite out--it wasn't--I just wrote down my possessions and things, and put it in a safety deposit box, who I wanted to give what. But other than that, I guess really I should have, but I guess I was afraid if I did, something might happen. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: I think all of us have faced that decision of, you know, what if? What if something did happen to us? And who would raise our families? And you know, the thing that I worried about was my animals. What would happen to all my animals? I think everybody has different concerns, and that's the time in our life when we kind of get our house in order. Leesa K., you're 12 years out from your surgery, aren't you? Leesa K.: Yes, I am. I'll be 12 years in May. Twelve years, though they told me I had probably five percent chance to survive. And they told me to make my--get my funeral in order. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: And you said, "I don't think so!" [laughs] Leesa K.: Yeah, uh-huh, and I'm still here. And I'm going to school now. [laughs] Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: What are you studying? Leesa K.: I'm trying to decide that. I might--I'm kind of interested in going into radiology. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Just think what a help you would be to patients that might be facing what you've already been through? Leesa K.: Right. Right. Thoughts on Dating and Taking it One Day at a Time Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: I know one of the most difficult things for anyone who is single is being single and having children, and thinking about getting back into dating. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be single, have children, and be a cancer survivor at the same time. Let's talk a little bit about that. Kathleen, would you like to talk about that? Kathleen: Sure. [laughs] It's almost like I've just kind of thrown myself into getting through this and being there for my daughter, and surviving and coping. I kind of have just pushed the social thing to the back burner. I mean, I don't need any more pressure. I don't feel as if I need to be a complete and whole person that that necessarily has to be a component of my life. I haven't written men off. [laughs] I'm just kind of in a holding pattern, just waiting to see, to make sure that I'm going to raise my daughter and be there for her. Then if something like that comes along that's great--but if it doesn't, that's OK, too. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: If something came along, you'd be open to it. Kathleen: Oh, sure. You know, and it's not that I don't flirt, and I'm certainly not a saint, but it's not the foremost thing in my mind. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Oh, I'd also ask, like to ask any one of you, if you were dating someone, when do you think would be the time to let them know that you've been dealing with cancer? Lisa E.: This is Lisa E. When I first started dating, it was someone I didn't, that didn't already know me and knew all about everything. At first I didn't--I decided I wasn't going to say anything until, unless, you know, it looked like it was going to develop into something. But quite frankly, to echo was it Kathleen that was just speaking--that a single mom juggling kids and activities and work, it really doesn't leave a whole lot of time for relationships. But, and I decided that I wasn't--if I met someone and they didn't know me, they were going to know right away that I was a cancer survivor. I didn't want to talk about that at a later date. They either could handle it or they couldn't. And if they couldn't, then, you know, I wanted to know right up front. [laughs] Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: I think that's the brave attitude. Leesa K., it must be extremely difficult for you, too. Leesa K.: Yes, I haven't dated anyone in 12 years. And people can tell that something happened to me immediately when they meet me, so it's very difficult. It's very difficult. I was at the beach with my dog one day, and a gentleman came up and said, "Oh, hi!" And as soon as I said "hi" back he just looked at me, his eyes got big and he turned around and walked away. So, it's difficult. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: I imagine that's very painful. Leesa K.: Very painful. Very painful. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Is there any specific thing that you do to cope with the physical changes, in terms of meeting new people, Leesa K.? Leesa K.: It's hard for me to--it took a long time for me to come out of my shell, to go out and meet people. I've just recently started to come out of my shell, and I don't--when people get to know me they have no problem with me. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: The physical changes? Leesa K.: Yes. Yes. They just treat me like a normal person once they get to know me. It's just initial, you know, when they look at me. I'm not really horribly disfigured. I am a lot, but it's, you know-- Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Do you find, Leesa K., that since you've gone back to school, that just being around people in the school setting has helped you to get out of your shell? Leesa K.: Absolutely. Absolutely. The people are very accepting there. I noticed, too, that doctors and nurses and people at the hospital and doctors, they all don't treat me any different than anybody else. So I guess that's kind of why I'm looking into going into the medical field. Somewhat because people are more accepting there than anywhere else. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Have you found any specific support groups that deal with people who have had facial changes? Leesa K.: Not at all. I wish I did. I wish I did. I haven't even met anybody that's had anything like I have, especially at such a young age. I was 33 when it first occurred, so--prime of life. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Now over the last 12 years, you have not had a recurrence? Leesa K.: Yes, I did. The first five years I had several--maybe three or four recurrences, I can't remember--but three or four. I went through radiation treatments twice, at different times. And I've had five or six different surgeries at different times. But in the last six years I've been in perfect health. I just had all my physicals and everything, matter of fact last month, and there isn't anything, anywhere. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Let's talk about this. If there was just one thing you could share with someone else who might be struggling with the issues that we've discussed today, if there could be one message that you could give them, what would it be? How about Lisa E.? Would you like to start with that? Lisa E.: I don't know, I guess I would say that they are not in the statistics. And there--and I guess that goes back to the hope--there are survivors, and they can be one. The great thing is they're getting smarter and faster about having, better therapies that aren't so damaging to the body. So just don't lose hope. Leesa K.: And every day--like my doctor would tell me--every day there's something new. I mean, there might be something new next week. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Well, we can all hope for the "Big C" then, in our case, stands for "cure." How about you, Kathleen? Kathleen: I think my message would be that you're here now. Enjoy now, and if you can make it through this minute, you can make it through the next minute, so keep thinking positive, and add up those minutes. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: So, you're saying, "Take it one day at a time." Kathleen: Yeah, one second at a time. Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks: Well, I tell you that's just absolutely wonderful. And I think it's just great that all of you have been so open and so sharing. And we know that all of you will do very well in the future. It's been wonderful having you with us, and I wish all of you the best. In closing, I want to thank our guests, who have been so delightful and so honest--Leesa K., Lisa E., and Kathleen--for so graciously sharing a part of themselves with us today. Hopefully some of their experiences will help you think about and talk about your own concerns in healing ways. You can listen to other discussion we have available on the Web site. For the American Cancer Society Cancer Survivors Network I'm Bobbi de Cordova-Hanks, wishing each and every one of you a great day, today and every day. Note: All the content of this interviews has collected from American Cancer Society's Cancer Survivors Network. Recorded January 30, 2003